Blog · Influence
How to build meaningful relationships to find clients
Being a point of reference in your field isn't a matter of visibility: it's a matter of how many people, when they need to solve a problem, think of you. This article says how you get there — and where the road you walk alone comes to an end.
Published 29 April 2021 · revised 16 August 2026
The most common mistake
Don't impose your values, try to understand people
If your only goal is to preach your product and your system, you get nothing: an attitude like that puts the other person on the defensive and closes the conversation before it even starts.
Do the opposite. Be the first to take a step toward the other person, ask about their experience, stay available to clarify things. It's the fastest way to reach the point where it's them who wants to understand your reasons.
Why it works
Nothing is more effective than feeling understood. A person who feels understood commits twice as much, because they're motivated to.
It holds true with a potential client and it holds true with someone on your team: it's the same dynamic, only the context changes.
What's left to do
Inspire, support, and build relationships that aren't hollow
People look for role models. If you want someone to act on what you say, they need to see something in you they believe in — and they see it from your actions, not your words. Motivating, inspiring, supporting: that's the job, and it's slow.
When someone moves because of you, support them. Give them the help they need to get where they wanted to go. It's the only form of influence that isn't used up by using it, and it's worth more than any traditional marketing practice.
One word at a time
"Centre of influence" describes a position, not a job
It's the reason the advice to "build as many relationships as possible" leaves people right where they started: it says what to be, not what to do on Monday morning.
The position
A centre of influence is someone others turn to. It's a state, and it's reached over years — or it isn't reached at all. No one can tell you how long it will take, or whether you'll get there.
The job
In the discipline there are two roles with a precise mandate, and neither is "an influencer". The Connector introduces valuable people to other Connectors, putting their own reputation on the line. The Referral Director is the in-house role that governs that network: they don't sell, they make a referral system work, and they're trained for it.
The practical difference is that a role can be given a routine and can be asked for numbers. A position can't.
Influence is an effect. Referrals are a process.
The first step
Where does your company stand, in one number
AIRA-SCAN© measures the relational capital your company already has: ten questions, three minutes, no registration. Your browser calculates the score and shows it immediately, along with the dimensions where you're losing the most points.
Then the extended report arrives by email, and within one working day a person calls you: you look at the result together and assess whether the AIRA-DX© Stoic Analysis makes sense for your company. It's free and limited to twelve a week, so it isn't owed to whoever does the check-up: it's decided together.
Prefer to just talk about it? The number is 0549 888808.